im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
