so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
