I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
