He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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