she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize