OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize