Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
