How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
