I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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