Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize