I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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