I have demons in me.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
