Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
