She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
