saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
