I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
