Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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