vagina is talking i cant
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
