your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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