fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
