nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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