I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
