if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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