So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
be right there i have to get my cape
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
