His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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