didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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