dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
