kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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