just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Randomize
