I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize