i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
