You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
