So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
There's even glitter on my cock...
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