you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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