she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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