I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He literally asked permission to hit on me
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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