Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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