their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
