so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
