My boss' voice literally gives me gas
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Brb crying the tears of my youth
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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