We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
