Where is the hickey?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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