marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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