real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
