Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
