He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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