did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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