So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
