I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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