I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
