"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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