so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
