Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Damn victory sex feels great
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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