Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
