Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
