Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i believe in u and ur pee
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
