You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
