She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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