I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize