you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize