90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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