I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
