if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
