I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I fill condoms, not promises.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
