I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
