going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
