i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
