Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
