I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize