I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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