dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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