Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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