Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
