My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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