Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
i think my cat just said my name.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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