Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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