Say something about gay babies.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
