apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
