Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize