It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I need water and some morals
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
