his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
