honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
