Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize