I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
