Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Randomize
