Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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